Grumpy and Sleepy

Today was a long day for me. I am so tired and emotionally drained. If you were unaware, I am 4 months pregnant and although this is not my first child, I have forgotten what it is like to experience the blessing of bearing a child blah blah blah. I am on an unexplainable emotional roller coaster. I can go from screaming and yelling to laughing quicker than you can say birth control. Some might even call me a little insane at this point. I feel like I have been battling all week and for reasons that I can not even explain to myself. The littlest things set me off and when that happens, trust me you will want to steer clear. I am also a chain smoker of cigarettes and sadly but true, I am proud of it. Well not anymore that is! I am 4 days clean and off of the "stuff" after 9 years of my dirty little habit and if you only knew the kind of struggle I am facing you would at least give me some credit. My husband has been extremely helpful by choosing to quit with me, but I must come to terms with the fact that one of us may be on the 5 o' clock news for murdering the other in the near future. Who is going down? Your guess is as good as mine, but I am betting on myself! And so on this lovely evening as I take my pre-natal vitamin...I will settle down for another long cancer-free night of tossing and turning and hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day. Thank you all for listening and any alcoholics that might be tuned in, please please take a shot for me :)

Sick... :(

Hi Everyone,

What a day it has been for me. Don't you hate those awful stomach viruses that just sneak up on you when you least expect it and put you out of commission for at least 24 to 48 hours? Well lucky me because I woke up with one this morning! To be positive though, I did finish the bulk of my homework yesterday and the day before so at least I do not have to force myself to sit at this computer for long! It has been an uneventful day filled with lots of television re-runs and saltine crackers and the often displeasing 5 meter dash to the restroom. I must not fail to mention my sincere appreciation for grandma's who, on days like these, rescue me from the torment of taking care of my children, and of course obedient puppies who hold their bladder until they are blue in the face because of my negligence. I am such a lucky women!

“Only in America - do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front of the store” - Author Unknown

A story I would like to share with everyone!!

I'm sure many of you have heard the story about The Mayonnaise Jar. If you have not then I am sure you will enjoy it. If you have, it's still a great reminder to live your life to the fullest, to focus on the things that are most important to you, and to make time for the little pleasures of life that mean so much. Enjoy Everyone!

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes".

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, " I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things in life. Your family, your children, your health, your beliefs, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.

The sand is everything else, the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the garbage disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend." - Author Unknown

Responsibility

When you blame others, you give up your power to change. ~Author Unknown


Acknowledge that you are solely responsible for the choices in your life. Accept that you are responsible for what you choose to feel or think. Accept that you choose the direction for your life. Accept that you cannot blame others for the choices you have made. We can not control everything that happens to us in our lives, but we can accept responsibility for our actions and decisions. When we do accept this responsibility it can give us a sense of purpose and understanding. When we start looking deeper within ourselves to analyze the way we react, the decisions we make and take responsibility for the direction we are heading it becomes a lot easier to create a more successful path for the future. A man is driving through the city with road rage, annoyed with other drivers for the traffic he is encountering. He arrives at work stressed out and angered by his experience. Each day the same traffic is evident and the man continuously becomes enraged. We are responsible for our emotions. This man is choosing to point blame in the direction of the traffic and other drivers. On the other hand, there are hundreds of other drivers who are in control of these very same emotions and are able to show up for work in a pleasant mood. The point is that this man is damaging no one else but himself. This issue may not be sufficient when being examined alone, but imagine what a difference he could make in his life if he always accepted responsibility for his character.

The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs. ~Joan Didion

Judge yourself for once

Is it so easy to judge another human being. We can examine another person's decisions or lifestyle without thinking twice about it, but when it comes to looking within ourselves we are defensive and able to come up with thousands of excuses as to why we are the way we are. We can shoot out advice at the drop of a hat when we are discussing someone else, but when we think of ourselves the answer is never quite clear. I think learning to realize your weaknesses and not only accepting them, but also trying to improve is one of the most difficult tasks we can be asked to do for our self. It is similar to an addict taking the first step in admitting that he or she has an addiction. However, what we don't realize is that when we can accept our faults and weaknesses we will only gain strength. We can make ourselves better and in return we can live more fulfilling lives. We really and truly can only go forward at this point of realization. Not only will we become more fulfilled as individuals, we will be able to see more clearly what our true talents are. In my opinion, life is a lesson. When and where we go after life is not something we will know during our time in this world, but the decisions we make and the life that we lead is entirely our choice. Is is easy to loose sight of our goals and hide behind our shadows. We can get caught up in everyone else's life lessons and forget all about the truths that were meant for us.

Cheerful

Good afternoon everyone,
I am feeling pretty motivated today! Some days I wake up and I really just do not want to get out of bed. Actually, I'm sure many of us have days like that. On the contrary, today feels like one of those days where I am going to get a lot accomplished. I am motivated to get my school work done, to move further and make some important decisions for my business and it feels good! School can be such a drag when you are not excited about the classes you are taking, for example tonight I have a computer class which I am the least bit interested in, but what are you going to do? At least I know that in just a few more weeks I will never have to look back and in the meantime I'm sure there is a lot that I will learn from this class. So in closing, I hope that all who read this are able to get a little pick-me-up from my positivity today. Have a great day and smile!

"He who stops being better stops being good."
Statesman, Oliver Cromwell

Pray for Haiti!

Hello Readers,
I expect that all of you have heard the terrible news about what has happened in Haiti. My husband, who is of Haitian decent, and I, sat last night watching the horrible news on CNN after receiving a call from his mother, who was frantic because most of her family lives in Haiti. We watched the same story flash on our screen over and over again and while it was shocking information it seemed almost surreal to us. What I immediately thought of was what efforts the United States would take to aid the people of Haiti, but what started to weigh on my mind soon after was how unfortunate most of these people were to begin with and why it took a major disaster like this to bring these problems into our living rooms, myself and my husband included. Why wasn't anyone concerned about this before? Most of these people were already below the poverty level and living in conditions that are way below standards. Why did it not matter to us then? It is shameful that we are able to turn our heads to all of the suffering that occurs in our World today. How do we sleep at night knowing that there are children starving? Sure we can not save the world in one day,in a year or by ourselves, but we can contribute.... we can give what we have and do our part. If we all thought like this the entire world would be a much better place. It is just appalling to me that we have accepted all of this suffering as a norm in some countries even in our own country for that matter. If you ask me there is no excuse! On that note I will say this; the people of Haiti believe that "In Unity there comes Strength" and if we all took a minute to think about how true that is maybe we would put some effort into helping those who are unable to help themselves.

Silence

Hello Reader's
It has occurred to me that "blogging" can possibly become therapeutic for me. On a daily basis there are so many thoughts and ideas that pop into my head and after all of these years I have trained myself to quietly tuck them away without mentioning them or bringing any ideas to fruition. I am really not sure how this happened or when it actually started, but I have successfully been able to numb myself from the world around me. Some might say this could potentially result in a explosion or a nervous breakdown for that matter, but I don't really think it will. What I have noticed is that instead I have lost myself and the true essence of my character. There was a time when I got excited about the little things in life. There was a time when I was a dreamer and found inspiration in the things that I loved. Honestly, now I can't think of a single thing that I am passionate about. It is a truly depressing reality. I go about life as if it is a job, without any understanding of it's meaning or my purpose. I used to find passion in art and writing, but now I struggle to think of anything slightly interesting to write about for this blog. As I said in my last posting it is the beginning of a new year and today is certainly a new day. It is time for me to make a change, to indulge myself in new things; open myself back up to the world around me. I will start here by making this an outlet for me. I will find my creative side if it is the last thing I do. Thank you blog for dragging it out of me!

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
Author, Anais Nin

Its a new year, a new day...

Do you ever sit back and think about all of the goals and aspirations you have set out to complete throughout your life? How many of them have you accomplished? How many did you forget about or fail to complete? I think about the what-ifs and the maybe's from time to time and I get all worked up about the poor decisions I have made in the past. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the past and loose sight of the future that is still in store for us. I know I often forget that life is about making mistakes and learning from them, but it is important to take in each day as a new one. We should remain aware of our shortcomings, but strive to become wiser and stronger individuals because of them. We are our own worst critics and we tend to be too hard on ourselves at times. It is important to be honest with yourself, but the truth doesn't always have to hurt. Life is short and will pass you right by while you are dwelling on your past. Don't take what you have for granted you don't know how long it will last and remember tomorrow is a brand new day!

"You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream."
Author and Scholar, C.S. Lewis