R.I.P. Andrew Koenig

Andrew Koenig, best known for playing "Boner" on 'Growing Pains,' had been missing since February 14th after taking a trip to Vancouver and missing his return flight home. He parents knew that he was depressed and had not been acting like himself lately and flew out to Vancouver to search for him themselves. Unfortunately, the police located his lifeless body in the park and announced that there were no signs of foul play and that "Boner" had taken his own life. This is so sad to me because suicide is not such a rare event these days; In 1997, suicide was the 8th leading cause of death in the U.S.1 Specifically, 10.6 out of every 100,000 persons died by suicide. The total number of suicides was approximately 31,000, or 1.3 percent of all deaths. Approximately 500,000 people received emergency room treatment as a result of attempted suicide in 1996. And this statistics continue to grow. It makes me think about how many people are hurting right around me. If you don't play close enough attention you may walk away from someone who really needs your help. Makes you think about who you ran into today and how you treated them.

Moving

Moving is something I both love and hate to do. I hate packing up all of my things and moving it from one place to another and I hate unpacking even more. On the other hand, I do love the excitement of calling some place new, my home. Before I have this new baby we have decided to move closer to our family. The fact of the matter is that through all of this I am going to continue to try to go to school full-time, baby and all. I know it can be done, but my husband and I are trying to strategically locate ourselves at a place that is convenient for everyone. This is a tricky situation being that all of my family is in New Jersey and our school is in NY. My dear mother, whom will be doing most of the babysitting is not coordinated enough to drive to NY which leaves us with the only other option of moving to NJ and commuting to NY for school. OK so not that we have that part figured out we must figure out what city and so on. Not to mention my pitbull puppy that will be coming along with us needs to be accepted in the new home as well. So yes we have a lot of work to do in a little amount of time. Can you say stressed out ha ha.

California On My Mind

I was born and raised on the East Coast, New Jersey mostly and in the same house from birth until high school. Straight out of high school I joined the Navy and was stationed a few different places in the United States. I went from Chicago to Florida, for a year and a half to San Diego, California where I spent nearly five years. After I finished my contract with the Military in 2006 I remained in San Diego while my husband finished up his contract. We were there until March 2009, almost an exact year ago, when we made the decision to come back to the East where we both were raised. We thought it would be nice to both be close to our families and have a support system for our children while we were in school and working. While it is nice to be close to everyone again the memories of the life we had in California still weigh heavily on my mind. California is a beautiful place with lots of different things to offer. I miss the beautiful weather and the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors so much more often than here. I hate the restlessness of the city and the fact than any plans you make usually require a whole day once you calculate the traffic and the crowd you will encounter. I missed the laid back pace and the beautiful beaches and even the food. I would go back there in a heartbeat, but it is not such an easy move to make with a family and on top of that it is such an expensive place to live.

Insecurity

Have you ever not liked something about a person and eventually realized that you may possess this characteristic yourself? How ironic that it is so much easier to find things we don't like about others rather than pointing out what can be improved from within ourselves. It reminds me of the quote "you can not hate others without hating yourself". If we can find hate in our hearts for the people that we barely know, it usually stems from our own insecurities. It takes a humble individual to admit their own faults. I realized today, that I needed to take more responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. The more we accept who we are and take action to better our self the more confidence we will gain and the more fulfilled we will feel. I want to be whole and I want to be proud of who I am and where I come from . Insecurity is a sign of weakness that we are usually to embarrassed to face even when alone.

“Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated.”

My Bucket List

Although, I hope that I have a long life ahead of me I wanted to share with you some of the things that I hope to do before I die:

1. Go Sky diving.

2. Write a Book.

3. Learn to play the guitar.

4. Get my Master's Degree.

5. Climb one of the world’s Seven Summits. Climbing a mountain would be so much fun (this includes being in good enough shape to make it the whole way.)

6. Visit Las Vegas.

7. Buy my own home and spend time decorating it the way I want to.

8. Vacation in Australia, take a hike through the Australian Bush.

9. Scuba Dive (if I can make it through, while being slightly claustrophobic).

10. Go on a cruise not funded by the US Navy.

11. Set foot on each of the seven continents. Antarctica might be a tough one but traveling the World is a huge dream of mine.

12. Buy a boat and learn to sail.

13. Witness a Solar Eclipse.

14. Take an African Safari.

15. Visit the Great Wall of China.

16. Meet my Grandchildren.

17. Learn French.

18. Go Parasailing.

19. Open a Family Business.

20. Another cross country road trip with much more time and a bigger car.

The Parable of the Pencil

I love this Parable because it teaches us that we all have a purpose in life. It also reminds me that in a way all people must overcome obstacles. There is not one person who really has it easy. Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish. Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot make a change.

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box.

"There are 5 things you need to know," he told the pencil, "Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be."

"One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand."

"Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil."

"Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make."

"Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside."

"And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write."

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.


Now replacing the place of the pencil with you. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.

And Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

Fun Pregnancy Facts

Since today happens to be one of those days that I am feeling energetic and enthused about my pregnancy I decided to search the Internet to find some fun and interesting facts about pregnancy....please enjoy!!!

1. The average age for a first time mother these days is 25-29 while it used to be 21 in 1970!

2. When a women is pregnant, her senses are all heightened. (Which explains why I can smell what my husband is eating even when I am not in the same room as him)

3. Your feet may grow 1-2 sizes during each pregnancy. ( I could not find out if they would go back to their original size, which on a positive note may mean lots of shoe shopping!!!)

4. Pregnancy messes with your hair growth pattern, causing you to have a fuller head of hair during pregnancy and experience increased hair loss afterward. Don't worry, your hair returns to its normal growth pattern about six months after delivery.

5. Each year in the United States, there are approximately six million pregnancies. This means that at any one time, about 4% of women in the U.S. are pregnant.

6. The largest surviving baby ever born weighed 14 pounds, 13 ounces and was nearly 23 inches in length. (That baby was born a toddler LOL)

7. While not all pregnant women will crave pickles and ice cream specifically, pregnancy cravings are rooted in the body’s extra need for minerals and comfort-inducing serotonin. ( Since I have been pregnant, I have been drinking nearly a gallon of orange juice a week...so delicious)

8.During pregnancy, the average woman’s uterus expands up to five hundred times its normal size. ( Try not to think about this one too much)

Tuesday is the most popular day for babies making their arrival in the world. ( we shall see if this is true for me).

Don't We All ?

I was parked in front of the mall wiping off my car. I had just come
from the car wash and was waiting for my wife to get out of work.
Coming my way from across the parking lot was what society would
consider a bum.
From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no
money. There are times when you feel generous but there are other times
that you just don't want to be bothered. This was one of those "don't
want to be bothered times."
"I hope he doesn't ask me for any money," I thought.
He didn't.
He came and sat on the curb in front of the bus stop but he didn't look
like he could have enough money to even ride the bus.
After a few minutes he spoke.
"That's a very pretty car," he said.
He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly
blond beard keep more than his face warm.
I said, "thanks," and continued wiping off my car.


He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never
came.
As the silence between us widened something inside said, "ask him if
he needs any help." I was sure that he would say "yes" but I held true
to the inner voice.
"Do you need any help?" I asked.
He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget.
We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from
those of higher learning and accomplishments.

I expected nothing but an
outstretched grimy hand. He spoke the three words that shook me.
"Don't we all?" he said.

I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a bum
in the street, until those three words hit me like a twelve gauge
shotgun.
Don't we all?
I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I
needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus
fare, but enough to get a warm meal and shelter for the day. Those
three little words still ring true. No matter how much you have, no matter
how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you
have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or
a place to sleep, you can give help.

Even if it's just a compliment, you can give that.
You never know when you may see someone that appears to have it all.
They are waiting on you to give them what they don't have. A different
perspective on life, a glimpse at something beautiful, a respite from
daily chaos, that only you through a torn world can see.
Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe
he was more than that.

Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and
wise, to minister to a soul too comfortable in themselves.

Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a bum, then said, "go minister to that man cleaning the car, that man needs help."
Don't we all?


Author Unknown

The Internet

So I was sitting here at the computer trying to get some homework done and as usual I started surfing the Internet and wasted over an hour of my time doing absolutely nothing. Do you remember the times before we had Internet? Was it so easy to become distracted then? I guess there was always daydreaming, but that could not possibly be nearly as exciting as surfing the web's endless supply of just about anything. Anything you want to know about is pretty much available on the Internet. It is ridiculous how much you can do on your ass in front on the computer these days. To be realistic though it takes us away from life and all of its experiences. I truly wonder how different life would be today if we did not have the Internet. Just think about it no Facebook, YouTube, Microsoft Office, Email and so on. Or even better imagine if the government just jumped in and took it all away from us now, knowing what we already know. It would be devastating! People would not know how to function. With this being said, I am going to make a more conscience effort to be proactive. Spend more time reading and enjoying the outdoors. I want to enjoy my life from all aspects rather than sitting here and "googling" it away.

A Touching Story

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine
son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy
book.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in
business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He
needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.

He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope
taped behind the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected? - Author Unknown

The Pursuit of Happiness

The pursuit of happiness is a matter of choice...it is a positive attitude we consciously choose to express. It is not a gift that gets delivered to our doorstep each morning, nor does it come through the window. And I am certain that our circumstances are just a small part of what makes us joyful. If we spend our lives waiting for joy and happiness to come to us we will miss it all together.

The pursuit of happiness is a journey from within ourselves. In many ways our minds are like programs, awaiting the code that will determine behaviors, sort like bank vaults awaiting our deposits. If we regularly deposit positive, encouraging, and uplifting thoughts, if we continue to bite our lips just before we begin to grumble and complain, if we shoot down that seemingly harmless negative thought as it germinates, we will find that there is much to rejoice about.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ~John Barrymore

The Window

The Window" (Author unknown)

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Unexpectedly, an alien thought entered his head: Why should hehave all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see anything? It didn't seem fair. As the thought fermented, the man felt ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window - and that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night, as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room, he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running. In less than five minutes, the coughing and choking stopped, along with the sound of breathing. Now, there was only silence--deathly silence.

The following morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take it away--no words, no fuss. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

Determination

I believe we all have the free will to accomplish almost anything, but I am not sure that we all have the determination necessary. Determination is defined by Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, in part, as "the act of deciding definitely and firmly; also : the result of such an act of decision and a firm or fixed intention to achieve a desired end ". Where does determination come from? Why are some people more determined than others. In my eyes it is the determination in a persons heart and mind that will set them apart from others. If you set out to do something and are truly determined to succeed than without a doubt you will, because those who are determined do not give up!

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

A story of Determination

In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.


"We told them so."
"Crazy men and their crazy dreams."
"It`s foolish to chase wild visions."

Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever.

He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.

It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.

He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.

Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.

Even the most distant dream can be realized with determination and persistence.

Interesting, Useless Facts

1. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.

2. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

6. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

7. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

8.In early Olympic Games - women were not allowed to watch the games, but were allowed to participate in the games.

9. Beer is made by fermentation which is caused by bacteria feeding on yeast cells and then defecating. Which means it is a nice tall glass of bacteria poop.

10. In ancient Greece "idiot" meant a private citizen or layman.

11. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

12. The name "Kangaroo" came about when some of the first white settlers saw this strange animal hopping along and they asked the Aborigines what it was called. They replied with "Kanguru", which in their language means "I don't know".

13. Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian, and had only ONE testicle.

14. Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it.

15. The present population of 5 billion plus people of the world is predicted to become 15 billion by 2080.

Distracted

Here I am in the school library, trying to sit quietly at my lap top and do my homework. Unfortunately, I have been unable to this because for the last few hours I have been surrounded by a group of older men who seem to be having a social gathering. Don't you hate that? I am personally very easily distracted and that is something that I have to work on, but I think most would agree that it is nearly impossible to work in this type of environment. This is a library people...go chit chat somewhere else!! What do you do in a situation like this? I find myself wondering if I should say something to them or if I should just do my best to ignore it. The quiet, conflict-free person inside of me is saying to just leave it alone, but another part of me has the urge to shake up my soda and open it pointing towards them. :) Breathe....stay positive until next time!

Snowed-In

So I think this has been the most significant snow storm we have seen all winter. We almost have 2 feet of snow on the ground! It's funny to me how snow storms are so exciting when you are younger, but now that I am an adult, not so much. Growing up takes the fun out of everything. There is so much more responsibility involved in everything that we have to do. I remember having days off from school, building snowmen and sledding. Now I enjoy none of the above. Snow storms may give me a day or two off, but I have to shovel my property, dig out my car, and occupy my family who has all been locked inside with me.

Spare Time

I am fortunate enough to be able to attend school with my M.G.I. bill from my time in the Navy. Effective in August of this past year the M.G.I. Bill was upgraded so that the government would not only pay for you schooling, but they would send you a monthly allotment to cover your rent. Being able to go to school and solely focus on my studies has been a pleasant and much needed vacation from the normal day to day chaos that I was used to. In the past few months I went from being a full-time student and working a full-time job while taking care of my 4 year old son and living in California, away from all of my family. This break has given me ample opportunity to slow down and I am thankful because I know not everyone gets a chance like this. It has been about six months now and I am starting to fear that I may be getting a little bit to used to this type of lifestyle. I think that I really need to become active again and find other productive things to due with my time. Staying at home for over half of the week without any schedule or obligations is just accustoming me to laziness and that is going to make things harder in the long run.

New & Improved

Hey Followers!!! LOL I went in and customized my blog to something a little more my style. Hope you like the changes. I should have a picture up soon as well. Until Next time take care <3

Every few days I get an e-mail from an old friend of mine including a "Quote Action". A "Quote Action" consists of a meaningful quote and a recommended supporting action designed to help you stay focused on leading a positive and fullfilling life. The messages are normally short and to the point so it doesn't take much time to stop and read them. For me, they are a reminder to stop and think about what is actually going on in my life. It allows me to become more aware of myself and others around me and gets me out of my routine way of thinking. I would like to share the "Quote Action" that was sent to me today because I think it really hit home for me. "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." - Unknown Author Your action for today is to go out of your way to be kind to someone. This, in my opinion, is so accurate because you never truly know what is going on in people's lives that you encounter on a daily basis. You may meet someone who is having a really rough week and your extra kindness could keep them from falling apart. I love messages like this. Take the time out each day to allow yourself to evaluate the way you respond to others who you surround you. You never know what kind of a difference you can make.

On writing

I am currently working on a presentation that is required of me for my Sociology class. The students were asked to come up with their own topic of interest, relating to any sociatal issue, and perform a presentation based on research and analysis. I always love the opportunity to choose my own topic because then I get the chance to really look into and research something that actually interests me. I strongly feel that when you are asked to write about a topic, the end result is always better when you are passionate about the subject. This doesn't necessarily mean that you can't write a good paper about something you aren't interested in, but it makes it all the more difficult. I get excited about writing when I can take my own path and have fun doing it. I hate when I am pressured to produce a paper on the spot or when I am being tested on my writing with time constraints. I firmly believe my best writing is created when I want to sit down and do it or when I have a strong urge to express a certain emotion or opinion. I'm sure that this is the common consensius in this matter, but some must have it easier than others. In my opinion, your writing is at it's best when it is not forced but rather inspired.

Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne