Grumpy and Sleepy

Today was a long day for me. I am so tired and emotionally drained. If you were unaware, I am 4 months pregnant and although this is not my first child, I have forgotten what it is like to experience the blessing of bearing a child blah blah blah. I am on an unexplainable emotional roller coaster. I can go from screaming and yelling to laughing quicker than you can say birth control. Some might even call me a little insane at this point. I feel like I have been battling all week and for reasons that I can not even explain to myself. The littlest things set me off and when that happens, trust me you will want to steer clear. I am also a chain smoker of cigarettes and sadly but true, I am proud of it. Well not anymore that is! I am 4 days clean and off of the "stuff" after 9 years of my dirty little habit and if you only knew the kind of struggle I am facing you would at least give me some credit. My husband has been extremely helpful by choosing to quit with me, but I must come to terms with the fact that one of us may be on the 5 o' clock news for murdering the other in the near future. Who is going down? Your guess is as good as mine, but I am betting on myself! And so on this lovely evening as I take my pre-natal vitamin...I will settle down for another long cancer-free night of tossing and turning and hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day. Thank you all for listening and any alcoholics that might be tuned in, please please take a shot for me :)